no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
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watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
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Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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