Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i think my mom watched the whole time
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize