I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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