You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize