I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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