I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
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You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize