It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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