office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
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Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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