Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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