somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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