Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize