Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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