U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
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I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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