I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
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Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
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Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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