I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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