There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
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Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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