I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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