someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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