And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do vagina's smell?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize