You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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