so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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