All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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