that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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