You're my little dorito
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm too high and old for this...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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