matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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