I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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