Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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