Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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