Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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