Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize