He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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