Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize