So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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