I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize