I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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