i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize