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"it" just moved
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Randomize
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