It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize