if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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