Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
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Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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