So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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