I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize