When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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