never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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