puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
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He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
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Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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