So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
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It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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