i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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