I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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