i permit you to call me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need to calm my uterus...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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