i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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